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The biggest lie.

I've come a long way from the dark and damp. I've come a long way from the dirt and the smog and the sour smell of alcohol.
I've travelled my whole life in two months.
My whole being. My thoughts, my art, my stupidity and my intelligence.
I travelled in your words when we talked about things that matter.
I travelled in your words when you thought you weren't good with them.
That's stupid. I travel in your words.
Through pieces of mirrors I found in you, showing me reflections of my deepest me.
What are you? If you're not just a silly trick of life making me think I love you.
Making me think I love you.
Messing up my logic.
I don't want to love you, because you're the closest thing to impossible I have ever met in my life.
I don't want to love you because it doesn't make sense to love you.
You're just a lie.
Just as much as a lie as the lies I tell you when I say I don't love you.
You're just that much of a lie.
Playing with my head and telling me I can't go around getting wasted. Telling me there's more to life.
You play with my head in wicked ways and tell me that I'm better than I think.
You piece of broken mirror showing me what I am able of. Making me want more. Making me try harder.
What the hell is wrong with you?
You can't be so good. You must be but another lie in a writer's brain. My brain.
This brain that doesn't stop thinking of you, trying to understand you. This brain that refuses to forget you. And learns you everyday over and over again. Maybe this twisted brain created you completely.
Go away.
That's a lie too. Don't go. You've moved me. Don't let me settle back for less now. Now that you've moved me and raised the standards of my life.
Because, you're someone like me. Because, you let me be myself and you make me bloody proud of it.
I love you, and you know that.
I lie to you, and you know that too.
And that is good. That is right. You agree.
I will keep lying.
And you will keep pretending to believe it, for we both know, this feeling must not overflow!
I'm a writer. I love a good lie. And you're the biggest one.

Comments

  1. Trying to work out if this is a metaphor or if there is a lucky person somewhere

    ReplyDelete

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